Throw blanket progress

Progress on my knitted throw blanket has been coming along nicely. I received the yarn on the 14th and got straight to work. Due to the drastic changes in thickness throughout the yarn and the smaller-than-called-for needles I chose, it was difficult to get gauge; ultimately, my gauge is still a little off, but I think it's working out fine.

Except a few minor hiccups at the beginning (i.e. I wasn't paying attention AT ALL), this project is working up well! It's nice to work on while watching TV because it isn't too involved. It also moves along rather quickly, despite it's size.

The yarn is absolutely perfect, too. It does shed a LOT, which is something I hope will subside after a while, but other than that, it's beautiful. It's oh-so soft, has excellent drape, and is nice and heavy. Also, the thick-and-thin nature of the yarn lends itself perfectly to the rustic/heirloom quality I was aiming for. I can't wait to see how this project turns out!

Picking up the needles

I have been very (dare I say) out of the loop with knitting for the past few months. Between moving, trying to get a car, and starting two jobs since May, I have felt like I didn't have time to sit down and knit. Although, I did crank out a Link-style hat, a Hufflepuff scarf and most of a Doctor Who scarf with the intent of selling them to fund my car, none of those projects ever made it out of the WIP stage. And, I mean, is it really knitting if you;re forcing yourself to do it? I suppose it can be, but I try to make my knitting time as relaxing as possible.

Since I have started my bedroom redecorating project, I have decided that I need a nice, textural throw blanket in a beautiful mustard yellow to coordinate with my new color scheme (grey, purple, and yellow). I looked around online for a bit, but didn't find anything I was really pleased with. Then, I remembered, "hey, I can knit!" For the pattern, I decided on a Lion Brand pattern knit with a chunky yarn and with simple cables; this will be my largest project to date, so I didn't want something too intricate that would deter me from finishing it. I chose the "Cable Comfort / Sutter's Mill Throw."

Click here for the pattern!

Having decided on a pattern, I then turned to my favorite yarn supplier, KnitPicks.com and started purusing through their decadent selection of yarns. I knew I wanted something in their "Turmeric" shade and I needed a bulky yarn for the pattern I chose; I decided on Billow and ordered 10 skeins! I'm really excited about this yarn because of the beautiful color, luxurious feel, and variegated thickness. I know it's going to make the smooshiest, most wonderful blanket! Since it is cotton, I know it will get really pilly/hairy, but I'm hoping that will wear off after a while, as most cottons do.

While I'm waiting for my yarn order to arrive, I decided to do some warm up knitting by starting a new hat for the coming cold weather. Even though it's still in the 80's here in Indiana, it's never to early to start your winter knitting! I decided on the Katherine Hat pattern by Erin Kate Archer. I chose some Wool of the Andes from my stash (and a project that never was) in the color "Cadet" and got to knitting! I am really loving the pattern so far; there are only 4 rows to the stitch pattern- one of which repeats- making it easy to memorize and fast to work up.

Instagram snap from earlier during the Property Brothers marathon!

I can't wait to finish this one; I know it's going to be adorable for the fall! Here's to hoping my workweek(end) will pass quickly and I'll have my new yarn in hand before long!

Have a good night, readers!

Bethany

On being lonely

Do you ever feel like you're stuck? More or less for no reason, but it seems like every direction you try to turn in, you're met with a wall. Recently, I have felt very productive; I was painting this and that and getting all sorts of materials for varying projects, then, boom. I just sort of stopped.

I am aware of some of the contributing factors- one being that I'm indecisive, another being money, and yet another being that when I finally do decide on a color scheme, I'm told I can't have the paint I want in my desired color (*cough* thanks, Sherwin Williams *cough*). I think one of the biggest issues was that I got really caught up in all these different projects I've been trying to do and was trying to move in too many directions at once. So, as things usually go with me, I've come down off the creative high and now I'm in a defeated slump.

I think some other life situations have been contributing to my slump as well; I was hoping to be closer to moving out by the time September rolled around, yet, here it is the 9th and I'm no closer to having my own place than I was 2 months ago. Again, I know that's my fault as I haven't been the most diligent with saving money, but I guess I thought if I just let things go, they would happen in their own time. Turns out, that's not always the case. So, over the next few weeks, I'm going to try my hardest to put more of my paycheck aside so I can afford to move out sometime this fall.

Yet another issue I have been facing is one of severe loneliness. I'm used to doing things alone. I like sitting by myself in my bedroom after a busy day at work. I like the crafting spells I get into where I spend hours in solitude working away on one of my numerous WIPs. I like wandering through various flea markets on my own, taking as much time as I want scouring each and every shelf. But, sometimes, I want a little company. Because I do everything alone. I go to the movies alone. I go out for coffee alone. I take walks along the river alone. I go out shopping alone. And while having time to yourself is important, being completely on your own is not enjoyable in the slightest.

I have always been a loner. I have always struggled with feeling like nobody wants to be around me. Every time I speak to someone, I have to remind myself that it's okay for me to talk to them, that I'm not necessarily annoying them with my presence. No matter how intently someone may try reassure me that my company is valued, there will always that subconscious feeling that I'm not wanted. And that is really hard to deal with. Especially when you so desperately want to be around people. When you want to go out and have fun and just be in the company of others. I hate the idea that I'm wasting "the best years of my life" sitting alone in my room and being sad for myself. The thing is, I simply do not know how to meet people. I don't know how to make friends. I don't know how it works.

And so, here I sit, wishing I had someone I could connect with. Wondering what it would be like to have someone who is there for you and who you could be there for. I'm honestly terrified that I am going to spend the rest of my life alone. Most of the time, I can shake off that feeling because surely that won't happen, right? But, other times, the thought brings me to tears because it's so overwhelming.

I try to stay positive to the best of my ability- I know things will get better. I simply don't know what to do to make them better. In the meantime, I'll keep on keepin' on, doing what I can to keep my head above water.